


bad day

by bruisingknees



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Trans Character, Happy Ending, Insecurity, M/M, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 12:31:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20082256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bruisingknees/pseuds/bruisingknees
Summary: The thing is that David knows that Jonas means well. Jonas is an amazing friend and an even more amazing guy. David would like to think he understands what Jonas means to Matteo, but the truth is that he probably doesn’t. He’s never had a friend like Jonas. He's never had a best friend period. And the way Matteo looks at Jonas sometimes is daunting.





	bad day

**Author's Note:**

> This was prompted to me on tumblr (thanks for prompting me numbers 49! ♥) from a list of [50 cliché prompts and tropes](https://bruisingknees.tumblr.com/post/186593305238/bucky-plums-barnes-50-clich%C3%A9-tropes-and-prompts)

49\. You caught me doing something dangerous and flipped out

The thing is that David knows that Jonas means well. Jonas is an amazing friend and an even more amazing guy. David would like to think he understands what Jonas means to Matteo, but the truth is that he probably doesn’t. He’s never had a friend like Jonas. He's never had a best friend period. And the way Matteo looks at Jonas sometimes is daunting. 

It’s not that David believes Matteo is in love with the guy, or _still_ in love with the guy, at least. But knowing that it isn't like that _now_, doesn't stop David from thinking that maybe he did use to be in love with his best friend. Not because doesn’t believe gay guys can just be very close to other guys without it meaning anything - if that were true he wouldn’t be able to be friends with anyone - it’s just things he's heard about their past and how it used to be with Jonas, Hanna, and Matteo. 

He’s seen the way the two of them look at each other. It's all four of them really, the _squad_. They have this way with each other David has always felt very much outside of. But Matteo and Jonas are special. 

And on good days David is grateful for the way they’ve welcomed him in their midst. On good days he can acknowledge their genuine affection for him and see that they enjoy spending time with him for who he is. On less good days he hyper focuses on the other things. Like how when Jonas asks Matteo if they can have some bro time he obviously explicitly means without David there. 

Like how sometimes David doesn’t know if it’s awkward that he’s around because he’s Matteo’s boyfriend or because he’s him. Like when Carlos goes on these euphoric tangents about Kiki sitting on his face, and everyone has a go at sharing their experiences and thoughts until the three of them awkwardly land on Matteo and David. And it’s clear as day that if David weren't there they’d ask Matteo, involve him, but they're at least socially aware enough to know it would be awkward with David right there. 

It’s Jonas then as well, who saves the conversation and the day. Who steers them to safer topics and then ruffles Matteo’s hair. And Matteo looks so relieved, smiling up at Jonas with so much gratitude. 

So when David and Matteo are having an argument, and David already feels stretched so thin, and Jonas comes at him with unsolicited advice, David has just had enough.

It’s the “Matteo gets like this sometimes, no worries,” that does it. Or maybe it’s the “Matteo came to talk to me.” It’s the implication that Jonas is the Matteo expert and David is the one who needs advice to know how to keep Matteo happy. To know how to keep Matteo, period. 

So he snaps at Jonas. Says something really fucking stupid. He knows it's the way he said it, most of all, that's making Jonas’s face look like that. _He didn’t know_, David thinks, heart pounding and adrenaline pumping cause he hates this. Hates arguing, hates confrontations, hates that Jonas saw him like this. _He didn’t know that you can be like this. That you_ are _like this._

In for a penny, David thinks, grabbing his bag and leaving, in for a pound. 

The thought that keeps coming back to him is: _you’ve really done it now_. David is sure Matteo could’ve forgiven him for their earlier argument, but he’s not so sure he can forgive David for being a dick to Jonas. David realizes it now all depends on how Jonas describes what happened to Matteo. And Jonas doesn’t have access to his thoughts or deeper reasons. David doesn’t just go around sharing all that with people. So to Jonas it probably looked like he was trying to be a good guy and David, who’d already upset his best friend, was now yelling at him to mind his own goddamn business. 

David tells himself that this time Matteo won’t come find him.

If he stops to think about it too long, he hates himself just a little bit more for running off when it’s the one thing Matteo asked him not to do. He thinks Matteo won’t come this time because every time he thinks: it’s gone too far, I’ve pushed it too far. He thinks it’s too much and Matteo’s gonna draw the line. The one that's drawn in permanent ink and means that it's all over now. 

When Matteo does come to him it feels even worse than being right would’ve. Because Matteo shouldn’t have to do this. He shouldn’t always have to be the brave one. He shouldn’t always have to make the first step. 

“Can we talk?” He asks, hands fisted in the sleeves of his hoody, the fabric pulled tight, under stress. 

It’s the hoody with the holes in the seam. It’s the hoody David likes to steal and wear to bed when it's cold. 

“Yeah,” David says, having to clear his throat. “Laura’s out.”

They go to the living room because going to his bedroom feels wrong. Only the good things should happen there. David is selfishly trying to preserve the scent of the two of them on his sheets and the memories of them happy. 

“I shouldn’t have gotten so angry,” Matteo starts and David interrupts him: “No, don't.”

Matteo bites his lip and looks down, his hands are still fists, rigid on his lap. 

David just thinks he’d hate himself forever if he let Matteo apologize. It’s bad enough that he had to come and chase after David.  
But it’s too late, or maybe it was just inevitable, cause Matteo whispers: “I’m sorry.” 

Some days are just bad days, and David knows this. He's known this for as long as he can remember. Sometimes one bad day follows another bad day and so on until you’ve had a bit of a shit week. Sometimes one shitty week follows the next and before you know it, it's been a pretty crap month. 

It’s easier to forget, at the tail end of a bad week, how loved you are and how there are all these tiny little pockets of joy that are constantly happening, that make up your life. And it’s a good life, a happy life. It’s just that you aren’t used to it yet. Used to believing that you get to be happy. 

So at the tail end of the shitty day in that shitty week in that crap month, five assholes were harassing a friend from uni and David threw a punch. 

His first one, his first fistfight. Dad would be proud. They got him back, high on the cheekbone, but he guesses none of them were really prepared, or up for this or whatever, cause everyone just dispersed quickly after that. David got into his first, highly anticlimactic fight and all he had to show for it was a bruise blossoming on his face and the reminder that the world could be really ugly sometimes. 

When he got to Matteo, he remembers thinking about how he’d tell him how his hand hurt more than his face did and wasn’t that just some sort of karmic shit? Maybe there was a life lesson in there somewhere. But he never got the chance to say any of that because Matteo saw his face and freaked out. When he heard David threw the first punch he got angry. 

And maybe it was because the fistfight had ended before it even started, but apparently David had been ready to fight some more. So they’d argued and they’d fought and it had been _so stupid_. 

David wasn’t allowed to leave - he promised Matteo that he wouldn’t leave anymore - and so David hadn’t known what to do cause they needed to be apart to cool down. _David_ needed to be alone. So Matteo had left instead, he’d disappeared into his bedroom while David heated up some soup from a can. Not because he was hungry but because he needed something to do. His hand ached as he stirred the soup. 

That’s when Jonas had shown up and David had left anyway. The icing on the cake. 

"Don't be sorry," David says. "_I_'m sorry." 

"Jonas said I was being a drama queen," Matteo says. 

And that stings, of course it does. It's still that same shit day, after all, and all the same shit feelings are still being felt. 

"Was that before or after I told him to fuck off and stop sticking his nose in?" 

Matteo seems taken aback by that, so David gathers Jonas hadn't told him. Jonas is an awesome friend, after all, and an even more awesome guy. 

"What?" Matteo asks. 

"I was angry," David says, not proud. "I told him, I don't even remember. It was mean. I told him to mind his own business." 

"Hey," Matteo says. "I tell him to him his own business all the time." 

David doesn't know why Matteo is trying to make him feel better. He can only guess at what's playing out on his face, and nobody could ever read him better than Matteo could. He must make a pitiful sight right now. 

"No, you don't," David says with a humorless chuckle. "You don't, Matteo."

"Maybe not all the time," Matteo agrees. Then: "David, what's _wrong?_" 

When Matteo leans in closer and reaches out for him, David allows himself to find that comfort in his boyfriend. He lets his head fall onto Matteo's chest, and Matteo's arms close around him and it feels good. It feels like being sheltered from the bad for a bit. 

And because Matteo is the brave one he says: "I'm sorry," again. "I've never seen you be in a fight before. I was scared because your face is all bruised and you weren't telling me what happened or what's been going on so I yelled." 

"I've never _been_ in a fight before," David says. 

"Did you at least kick his ass?" Matteo asks softly. 

David shakes his head, "I doubt it. I think my hand hurts more than whatever I did to him." 

"Baby," Matteo whispers, clinging on to David a bit tighter. 

Sometimes David forgets it until he's in it again, but Matteo's bravery makes him brave as well. Being loved by Matteo makes him remember to be brave. So he tells Matteo sorry, tells him about the fight, tells him about the bad day in the bad week in the questionable month. 

Eventually, they move to the kitchen, where Matteo tells him to sit on the counter while he goes through the freezer. 

"Jonas told me to ice it," Matteo says. He wraps a towel around a bag of peas and instructs David to hold it over his hand.

"Is he mad at me?" David asks. 

"No," Matteo says and he sounds sure. 

David will call Jonas and apologize. They'll meet up for lunch so David can apologize again in person. Jonas will take it well, cause that's Jonas, and he won't for a second make David fell any less welcome. But for now, David is having his bruises looked after by his boyfriend. 

“Has Laura seen this yet?” Matteo asks, holding the bag of frozen stir fry vegetables gently against David’s face. 

“No, she’s been out all evening,” David replies. Then: “She’d be mad at me as well, if she saw this.”

“Worried,” Matteo says. “She’d be worried.”

"You were a bit mad," David counters. 

"Maybe," Matteo agrees. "Can't believe you got decked in the face and I wasn't there to help you."

"Right on the moneymaker," David jokes stupidly. 

Matteo removes the bag of vegetables and leans up to gently kiss David's cheekbone. 

It was a bad day, but as they crawl into David's bed and kiss each other goodnight, David can see this for the little pocket of happiness it is.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say him on [tumblr](https://bruisingknees.tumblr.com).


End file.
